But then things started to get a little tense. It was as if their dynamic was completely different when they were together compared with when they were apart.
Paul would check in often but repeatedly want to know where she was or who she was with. He was self-disparaging, especially if she was busy and unable to respond to his messages for a while. The negativity seemed to get heavier and heavier; eventually, Ariel brought it up with Paul when they were together. Paul was nervous that telling Ariel the truth about his anxiety might mean an end to their relationship. As Ariel came to discover, dating someone with anxiety is a lot like any other relationship: The relationship itself can be a trigger for their anxious perceptions.
They may appear controlling and critical, they may be distracted and unfocused, or they may be withdrawn and passive-aggressive. All of these tendencies can wear on you both and on your relationship.
One of the most effective measures to building a supportive relationship with anxiety in tow is to foster space for honest communication and to practice it regularly. You can learn only so much about anxiety by reading and thinking about it. It will nurture this open, honest channel of communication between you and encourage them to ask questions and air some of their worries too.
When doubts and questions and anxieties lie low, under the surface of your interactions, they are more likely to intensify. And passive aggression is more likely to manifest in one or both directions between you. Remember that relationship is rewarding because it challenges us to see ourselves and each other more clearly and to grow despite the stumbling blocks.
The more you can embrace enlightening communication, the more you can reframe resentment as gratitude for the opportunities to grow. And you will likely run into frustrating challenges. Try to understand the difference between feeling angry and resentful about the anxiety versus at your partner. The anxiety can serve to create a rift between you, or it can inspire a cooperative partnership as you both work together to compassionately bring healing understanding, positive perspective, and progressive action moving forward.
They need to learn to bend too. You will thus have to be patient and allow the relationship to follow its own course. At best your partner may require some time to be physically intimate with you; however OCD can cause problems with sexual arousal and cause someone to have a low sex drive.
The condition is often accompanied with a fear of having sex or high levels of disgust when thinking about sexual activities. Feelings of disgust may be particularly severe if your partner experiences obsessions related to contamination for example about germs contained within bodily secretions, sexual violence for instance rape, molestation or religion like committing a sin due to prohibited sexual behavior.
And these negative thoughts can get in the way of building intimacy and trust - the basis of any healthy sexual relationship. Indeed becoming partners in treatment can not only help your beloved to manage the symptoms better but eventually enable you both to build a stronger bond. Join a support group Sometimes coping with a partner suffering from OCD can become all too overwhelming for you.
Medications and counseling sessions can help manage the symptoms of OCD but still leave you feeling lonely and misunderstood. At such times being part of a support group is very helpful. Community support groups for OCD can be excellent sources of social support and provide an opportunity to hear how others are dealing with feelings of isolation or embarrassment caused by the disorder.
Be honest about your needs Finally you need to realize that a relationship with a partner who suffers from a mental condition will require large reserves of patience and acceptance on your partner. If you fear hurting your partner, find a trusted friend or a counselor with whom you can discuss your concerns.
After all, every relationship — not just one with someone with OCD — is about balancing your personal needs with the needs of the relationship. Skip to main content. You are here Home.
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