The person they knew and love is still there, somewhere deep down inside. Those moments are what the person longs for. Still, to Paddy, it is worth it. But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD.
My girlfriend is not a burden, her BPD is. For most, it may hold little that feels inspirational.
Hearing someone else share your struggles and negotiate the realities of the illness can be both comforting and illuminating. Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability, and interpersonal relationships are often the stage on which this instability plays out.
Barbara Greenberg , a clinical psychologist who treats patients with BPD, explains:. Often, this emptiness and intense fear of abandonment are the result of early childhood trauma and the absence of secure, healthy attachments in the vital formative years. Paradoxically, the overwhelming fear manifests in behaviors that deeply disrupt the relationship and pushes partners away rather than pulls them closer, resulting in a stormy and tumultuous dynamic that typically emerges in the early days of dating.
When they are in relationships they get very intensely involved way too quickly.
But then what comes along with it, a couple of weeks later, is: Everything is done with passion, but it goes from being very happy and passionate to very disappointed and rageful. Prior to her diagnosis, her boyfriend, Thomas, used to blame himself for her hot and cold behavior.
Although each person has their own unique experience, these are some common thought patterns people with BPD tend to have:. Nobody cares about me as much as I care about them, so I always lose everyone I care about—despite the desperate things I try to do to stop them from leaving me.
These thoughts may be completely at odds with your own perception of your partner, but it is imperative to understand that for them, they are very real, and can drive them toward extreme and seemingly irrational behavior. She makes her ex-husband or ex-boyfriend out to be a bad person, even abusive. She is most likely exaggerating. In truth, any man who was married to or in a relationship with a borderline woman would certainly have plenty of reasons to be angry, frustrated, confused, and even hurt.
She talks about how her ex cheated on her.
Maybe he did and maybe he did not, but it is just as likely that she cheated on him. Borderline woman are more likely than the average woman to be promiscuous and to cheat in relationships. The reasons are complex and a borderline woman can often justify her own cheating.
She had sex with you on the first or the second date. It may have been an attempt to grab your attention or to try to control you.
She drinks to excess and perhaps uses drugs? She gets very jealous when you talk about other women, even your female friends. Borderline women are very insecure and they view the other women in your life as a threat. She is an amazing lover who will do whatever it takes to please you in bed. Sex is almost like a weapon for a borderline woman, she will use it to get control of you and secure you.
Borderline women also seem to enjoy sex more and are generally more promiscuous.
Relapse may occur, but crises will resolve quickly and you will feel more prepared to handle the situation. Only a doctor or mental health professional can officially provide an official diagnosis of a personality disorder, but there are several key symptoms you can observe that might indicate a person has BPD. Codependents already have low self-esteem and poor boundaries, so they placate, accommodate, and apologize when attacked in order to maintain the emotional connection in the relationship. Sex is almost like a weapon for a borderline woman, she will use it to get control of you and secure you. For many men it is these qualities that makes them so appealing.
It is believed that the close intimate contact fills the emotional emptiness inside of them. She is incredibly moody, with periodic bursts of extreme anger, sometimes called borderline rage.
Dating can be a complex and tricky endeavor. Relationships require work, compromise, communication, empathy, and understanding. Things become even . Nov 18, This can lead those with BPD to be constantly watching for signs that someone may leave them and to interpret even a minor event as a sign.
Mood instability is a common clinical feature of borderline personality disorder. Her moods can swing very rapidly, often within hours, from gloomy and depressed to happy to anxious to angry.
She has a very difficult time with compliments. One of the underlying issues with bpd is a sense of being defective, unworthy, and unlovable. As a result they will often doubt and question the sincerity of your compliments.